Akatsuki's Halloween
by MinaTakahashii
Summary: This is Halloween with the Akatsuki! Deidara in a pumpkin, Hidan is a bunny, and Tobi is a goodboy! Are the Akatsuki really all that scary? I know that it is early for a Halloween fanfic, but I'm going to post the last chapter on Halloween.
1. Costumes

**Discliamer: I don't own Naruto. At all. Oh well. **

Author's Notes: What up? This is something I really felt like doing for some strange reason… I know that it isn't anywhere near Halloween, but I have it all figured out. I'm starting this now, and I'm posting the last chapter at 12:01 on October 31. Please review if you liked it! I post chapters quicker when I have motivation!

The blonde artist opened his eyes and looked over to where the puppet master was laying asleep in his bed across the room.

Deidara no Iwa got up out of his warm cozy bed to do one single thing.

"Wake up Donna un!" Deidara screamed in Sasori's ear. Sasori moaned, being used to the noise, and rolled over. Deidara shook Sasori. Nothing happened.

"Come on! It's Halloween un!" Deidara continued. Sasori still didn't move. "We'll have to do this the hard way then un." Deidara sighed and walked over to the stereo player. He inserted a disk and turned the volume all the way up before hitting play. The song was the End Theme to the PowerPuff Girls. The song that Sasori hated more than all the others.

"Turn it off brat." Sasori ordered.

"Get up and-" Deidara started, but was cut off by Tobi glomping him.

"Tobi loves this song!" Tobi squealed.

"Get off un." Deidara ordered, doing a one-eighty from his earlier attitude.

Tobi obeyed his Sempai and walked over to the stereo to try and turn up the volume some more. Of course he couldn't, since Deidara had already taken care of that.

Sasori got up and walked to the bathroom, knowing what was going to happen next.

"What the fck?!" Hidan yelled, charging into the room, sacrificing the stereo to Jashin.

"What with the noise so early in the morning?" Konan asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

Deidara's face turned slightly pink. He should've known that this would happen. "Donna wouldn't wake up un…"

"So you had to wake the rest of the base up?!" Kisame asked, troubled by the loss of his beauty sleep.

"Tobi loved that song!" Tobi declared, trying to defend Deidara somehow. It didn't work.

"So you played the song for Tobi? How sweet." Konan said.

"What was with the noise?" Pein asked, finally making it to the room.

"Deidei was playing a song for Tobi!" Konan said, purposely trying to make Deidara mad.

It worked.

"It wasn't for Tobi! It was to wake Donna up un!" Deidara complained.

"He isn't here Dei…" Pein said. Deidara spun around and looked at Sasori's bed. Deidara scowled.

"Weasel un." Deidara said, almost as a growl.

"What is it?" Itachi asked. Deidara blinked.

"Not you baka!" Deidara exclaimed.

"Deidara, you must be punished for waking up the whole base…" Pein said.

"Oh great. What is it un?" Deidara asked.

"Take Tobi Trick Or Treating. And you have to dress up as well." Pein said. Deidara gaped.

"You're kidding me, right un?" Deidara asked while Tobi was running around being happy.

"Not in the least." Pein said.

"You're making me go Trick Or Treating?! Just me and Tobi un?!" Deidara almost screamed, getting mad.

"Not exactly. Hidan has to go too." Pein said.

"Why do I have to fcking go?! Trick Or Treating is for shtters!" Hidan complained.

"You sacrificed the last Jinchuuriki before we had time to extract the demon!" Pein said.

"Jashin is the upmost God dmned importance!" Hidan complained.

"I don't give a crap! Just go." Pein ordered. Hidan continued to complain, but Pein held firm.

"At least you don't have to dress up with a face like that un." Deidara said. Hidan glared at him.

"Do you have a fcking death wish?!" Hidan asked. "Because I will gladly sacrifice a sht like you! Wouldn't be much of a fcking gift to Jashin though."

Deidara scowled and jumped on top of Hidan, punching him square in the face. "I'm glad you like pain un!" Deidara said, attempting to punch Hidan again, but Sasori dragged him back.

Sasori had come out of the bathroom when he knew it was getting nasty. He wanted to see what happened, but after Deidara landed the first punch, Sasori didn't want to have to take care of a beat up partner.

"Let me go un!" Deidara ordered.

"Calm down and I will." Sasori said.

"Fine un." Deidara said, giving in and calming down, slightly. Sasori let go.

"I don't have a costume, so I can't go Trick Or Treating un." Deidara said trying to get out of having to spend time with Hidan and Tobi.

"Tobi has one you can use Sempai!" Tobi exclaimed, running to get it. Deidara slapped his forehead with his hand and instantly regretted it. His hand mouth slobbered all over his head and he had to wipe of the saliva with his cloak.

"Here Sempai!" Tobi exclaimed, handing Deidara a big, fluffy orange… thing?

"What is it un?" Deidara asked, unfolding what little folds there were.

"It's a pumpkin costume!" Tobi exclaimed.

"No way un." Deidara said, shaking his head and handing Tobi the costume back. Tobi made a loud cry and sat down where he was and sulked.

"You have to Deidara." Pein said.

"I'd rather die un." Deidara said.

"That can be arranged." Pein said.

"Please Sempai!" Tobi begged, still sobbing. Everyone looked at Deidara and said blonde sighed.

"Fine un." Deidara said, picking the outfit up off the floor. "But Hidan, what will you wear un?"

Hidan scowled and started to say something, but Tobi's screams drowned out whatever he was going to say. "Tobi has the perfect thing!" Tobi exclaimed. Yet again Tobi ran out of the room and quickly arrived back with something pink and furry.

"What is that fcking gay thing?!" Hidan asked. It was pink. And furry. There was no way he was wearing that.

"It's a bunny!" Tobi exclaimed.

"Fck no!" Hidan screamed, trying to run out the door but was blocked by Konan and Pein.

"Do it and I won't take pictures." Konan said.

Hidan glared at her and said a few, well a lot, of curse words. "Fck you." Hidan said, walking to his on bathroom, then decided that that wouldn't be a good idea since Kakuzu would see him. So Hidan went to the bathroom that was in Konan's room. She wouldn't mind…

Deidara walked to his bathroom and changed into the pumpkin. Unfortunately for him, he really did look like a pumpkin. Hr sighed and walked back into the bedroom, but now there was only Sasori and Tobi left.

"You look cute sempai!" Tobi exclaimed.

"Never say that again, for if you do you will die un." Deidara threatened. Tobi didn't say anything, until he ran out the door screaming "Tobi is a good boy!"

Tobi ran to where everyone else now was, in front of the bunny Hidan.

"I fcking hate you all!" Hidan exclaimed.

"Hidan looks cute too!" Tobi said, this time to Hidan.

Hidan glared at Tobi. "Never say that again if you wish to continue your shtty life." Hidan threatened. Tobi pouted.

"Hey Tobi! Is Deidara ready yet?" Konan asked. Tobi nodded. "Good. Konan said, taking out a video camera.

"You fcking liar! You said you wouldn't take any fcking pictures!" Hidan yelled.

"I'm not taking pictures, I'm making a video." Konan said. Hidan scowled at her. "Now let's go get Deidara!"

All the Akatsuki members migrated to Deidara's room and saw him lying on the ground rolling around. Sasori was sitting on the bed laughing at him.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked.

"Tobi wants to play!" Tobi said, laying down on the ground and rolling along next to Deidara.

"I can't get up un!" Deidara complained. Sasori continued laughing, while everyone else in the room started, except for Tobi for he was still playing the game.

"Some one help me un!" Deidara said. Konan couldn't because she was busy recording all of this, Sasori obviously wasn't going to, and everyone else didn't hear him, except for Tobi.

"But Sempai! This game is sooo fun!" Tobi said, giggling.

"I. Don't. Care." Deidara said scowling, getting really angry. He even dropped the un. "Help me un!" Deidara screamed, almost a whine.

"Here brat." Sasori finally said, helping Deidara get up. "Watching you roll around aimlessly on the floor was entertaining, for the first thirty minutes. Then it got boring." Sasori explained.

"Whatever un." Deidara said, rolling his eyes.

"Let's go Trick Or Treating now!" Tobi said, getting up off the floor.

"I'm going with you three, to make sure there are no murder attempts." Konan said. She was only going so that she could go get it all on tape.


	2. Trick Or Treat!

Author's Notes: Hi! Did ya miss me? Well, probably not me as much as my story, but that defeats the purpose. I probably won't update again soon, so you have been warned. This is a small amount of my craziness, just put in story form. Yay! So, onward to the trick or treating!

"I can't believe you're making me do this un." Deidara said, walking out of the base along with Tobi, Hidan, and the very excited looking Konan.

"But it'll be fun sempai!" Tobi squealed.

"Hmph humph humphity humph." Hidan mumbled. Pein had forced a gray piece of duct tape over Hidan's mouth so that he wouldn't scare the little kids with his potty mouth and Jashin. He would have ripped the tape off, but Pein threatened him. Pein had told the Jashinist that of he took the tape off, the video of him in the bunny suit would be put on YouTube. Everyone would want to see Hidan in a bunny suit. Think of all the fangirls.

"What was that Hidan? I can't quite hear you." Konan teased. Hidan glared at her and humphed some more. Konan laughed at him.

"So… Where are we going first un?" Deidara asked, unsure if he really wanted to know.

"Follow me!" Tobi said, going to the front and running ahead. Everyone else followed at a walk. "Hurry up! We have to get there before the goblins come out!" Tobi said.

"I hope that the goblins get you un." Deidara muttered.

--

_Ding-Dong_

That was the hundredth time that a doorbell has wrung that night. Literally. Tobi had found a huge neighborhood with thousands of houses. He planned on going to all of them as well.

Konan was busy guarding the twelve bags of candy that were sitting next to her. Most of them were Tobi's, for Hidan had tape over his mouth and looked insane, and Deidara was eighteen and wearing a pumpkin costume.

"Trick or treat." Deidara and Tobi said together while Hidan mumbled. They got candy and moved on to the next house. They had continued the process five more times, before Deidara cracked.

"I'm sick of this! I'm going back to base! I don't care hat leader-sama says un!" He yelled. Tobi grabbed hold of Deidara's leg.

"You can't leave yet sempai! The goblins will get you!" Tobi said. Deidara said.

"Get. Off. Me." Deidara said, gritting his teeth.

"You didn't say un sempai. Why?" Tobi asked, looking up at Deidara.

"I'll give you something to un about un." Deidara threatened. Tobi looked at him fearfully. His sempai was mad. Very mad.

"You're not a goblin are you sempai?" Tobi asked.

"NO! NOW GET OFF ME UN!" Deidara yelled, shaking his leg. Tobi hung on, not letting go.

"Deidara! Stop!" Konan ordered, running towards the pair. "This is exactly why I came. To make sure stuff like this doesn't happen!"

"Whatever. Just get him off me un." Deidara said, crossing his arms over his chest and standing still.

"Tobi. Let go of Deidara or I'll throw away all your candy." Konan threatened. Tobi immediately let go of Deidara's leg and stood up. "Thank you." Konan said simply.

"Don't ever do that again un." Deidara said.

"Are you still leaving sempai?" Tobi asked.

"No. He isn't." Konan answered for him. "And neither are you!" She called to Hidan, who was trying to sneak back to base.

"Humph humph." Hidan answered, trying to run away.

"Katsu." Deidara said. There was an explosion right where Hidan was standing. Then there was screaming and lots of curses coming from the silver haired Jashinist.

"You blew him up didn't you?" Konan asked, sighing.

"Yeah." Deidara answered. "He was being an idiot un." Konan gave him the "You're not telling me everything" look. "And if I can't leave he can't leave un."

"So when did you plant the bomb?" Konan asked.

"It was already on the outfit. I figured that if I had to ever wear that, then I would blow myself up. Pr if Tobi was wearing it, the bomb would have gone off regardless un."

Konan blinked.

"Just forget it un." Deidara said.

"I guess we have to go now anyway, before anyone realizes that you blew a person up. They wouldn't expect Hidan to live through that." Konan said, walking forward.

"Wait a second sempai! You would have blown me up?" Tobi asked. It had just gotten through his head what Deidara had said earlier.

"Yes. Now hurry up. I want to leave un." Deidara said, walking forward.

"Wait for me! The goblins will come!" Tobi cried, running forward so he was next to Deidara.

"There are no goblins un!" Deidara screamed.

"Come on boys! We're going back to base!" Konan called. Deidara ran up to her and started back to base. Konan gathered Hidan's remains and put them in a candy bag, running after Deidara. Tobi had no choice but to follow, for if he stayed the goblins would get him.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I'll try to make it longer next time! Let me know how I did. Please review! And just so you know, I have no idea where the whole Tobi goblin thing came from. It just happened. Love ya!


	3. Embarassed

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Naruto**

A/N: I a soooooooooo sort for the really late update! I had lost inspiration for any type of writing for a really long time. I kinda forced myself to write this, but there is some inspiration. Hopefully… I hope you like it regardless!

"I hate you. Remember that un." Deidara said, walking back into base. It had started to pour down rain on the way back to the base causing everyone that was out and about extreme discomfort. Deidara was still stuck as a pumpkin and all the rain was absorbed. Can you imagine how heavy that thing was now?

"You don't hate me sempai! You had a good time! Admit it!" Tobi said, pulling on Deidara's arm.

"No. Shut up now un." Deidara snapped, pulling his arm away and ran to the bathroom to change. He tried to pry open the door only to find it locked. He looked, around and noticed that the only person absent was Hidan… "Get. Out. Now. Un!" Deidara said, getting seriously mad. This was so not his night.

"I'm doing a ritual! Get the fck away!" Hidan said. There was a moan heard from the inside and it wasn't hard to picture Hidan cherishing the pain he was causing himself.

"I hate you all un!" Deidara said, running to the other bathroom. He tried to open that door as well, but to no avail. "Tobi un!" Deidara screamed desperately, already knowing that Tobi had come to this bathroom just to spite him.

"Yes sempai?" Tobi asked. Deidara turned around, seeing Tobi behind him.

"But I thought you were in there un…" Deidara said, pointing to the bathroom door.

"Obviously not." Itachi said, walking out of the bathroom.

Deidara blinked. "Whatever un…" He said, darting to the door only to be stopped by Itachi grabbing his arm.

"Can't go in there. It's clogged." Itachi said.

"I did not need to know that un." Deidara said, shaking his head to get rid of the mental pictures that were dominating his brain.

"Just go find another bathroom." Itachi said, walking away.

"You clogged up that one and Hidan is being retarded and is doing a ritual in the other one un!" Deidara complained.

"Have you thought about changing in your room sempai?" Tobi asked.

Deidara glared at him. "Of course I have… oh… un…" Deidara said, understanding that Tobi was right. For once. "Be back soon un!" Deidara said, running to his room to change.

--

"So what are we doing for the rest of our day off from world domination?" Sasori asked, already tired of waiting for Hidan to be done with his ritual and his patience was gone for Deidara changing as well.

"We should watch Jaws…" Kisame said, his eyes glazing over. The Jaws theme song found its way out of Kisame's vocal cords as he started "swimming" around the living room.

"Not happening. Remember last time?" Konan said.

-Flashback-

Kisame looked like he was going to die out of pure pleasure. He stood in front of his most recent victim, thinking of how he should slice up the opposition this time. It was then that he remembered the movie the Akatsuki watched last night. Jaws.

Kisame smirked, and he decided to try the Jaws way of killing his opponent. By biting them. They didn't look to difficult to kill, so Kisame ran straight at the man's leg. Kisame bit down as hard as he could and the man screamed out in pain. Kisame was happy that the attack actually worked, but wasn't sure how to actually _kill_ the guy.

Luckily, Itachi was coming back from the nearby building and saw what Kisame was doing. Itachi quickly killed the man with a kunai through the heart and brought Kisame to the nearest therapist. The only thing the therapist had to say was no more Jaws. Ever.

-End of the Flashback-

"That was one time!" Kisame argued.

"And it was the only time that you watched Jaws." Pein answered calmly.

"And I'm the only person that can eat people." Both sides of Zetsu said, before fighting over which side actually deserved to eat people.

"Hi. Hidan still not out of the bathroom un?" Deidara asked, finally coming back. He now had on a blue t-shirt and a pain of faded jeans.

"Yes. Yes I am you motherfcker!" Hidan screamed from the bathroom.

"Well can you get out here un?" Deidara asked.

Hidan snorted. "Like you crazed bstrds are more important than Jashin-sama!" Hidan said.

"We are." Sasori said, cockily.

"Why you little!" Hidan said, charging out of the bathroom at Sasori. Sasori dodged the attack easily and injected one of his poisons into Hidan's back. Hidan froze where he was and fell down on the floor. He then proceeded to… snore?

"He snores?" One side of Zetsu asked.

"Obviously." The other side answered.

"What did you do to him un?" Deidara asked.

"He'll wake u in a few minutes. He just needed to be punished slightly…" Sasori answered, shrugging.

"Who said that it was in your place to punish him?" Pein asked.

"You did. Last night." Sasori said, trying to lie his way out of things. Pein sometimes had memory lapses and it worked to the others advantage.

"I did?" Pein asked. "I don't believe you."

"You did. I have a voice clip." Sasori said, taking out a tape recorder. Everyone blinked, trying to figure out why the heck Sasori carried around a tape recorder. Sasori glared at them all and hit play. The song Butterfly by Smile D.K. came on and Sasori pressed multiple buttons at once, trying to make the recorder shut up. He didn't succeed in anything besides turning the volume up.

"Yes. I definitely. Said that." Pein said, trying not to laugh like everyone else in the room, except for Hidan of course. Hidan was singing along. Let's just say that some of Sasori's poisons have some pretty embarrassing side affects.

A/N:  I know that that wasn't the best chapter by far, but I really wanted to get something up. I hoped you still liked it and please review!


	4. Scary Clamor

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: I wrote this during school just for you guys! So remember, you love me!

"So we're watching a movie now un?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah…" Sasori said slowly like the blonde was dumb.

"O-okay then un…" Deidara said slowly.

"You're afraid of scary movies, aren't you?" Konan asked.

Deidara blushed. "What? No way un!" He put his nose in the air to prove his point.

"So we're free to watch Nightmare on Elm Street brat?" Sasori asked.

"WHAT?" Deidara asked, completely dropping the un.

"So you've seen it –ss hole?" Hidan asked.

"No, I've just been told about it un…" Deidara said.

"It's okay sempai! Tobi doesn't want to see the movie either!" Tobi said. "We can go play Chutes and Ladders!"

"I'd rather watch the movie un…" Playing games with Tobi was far worse than watching a scary movie.

"Come on then brat." Sasori said, dragging a very reluctant Deidara to the living room that held the big screen, surround sound T.V.

Kakuzu put the movie in and the opening titles came on.

"Who got Kuzu to pay for the movie b-stards?" Hidan asked.

"It's Halloween." Kakuzu said, shrugging.

"Who gave you the money?" Itachi asked.

"Kisame. It was supposed to be for Jaws… But I got this instead." Kakuzu admitted shamelessly.

"I'm so glad you betrayed me Kaku." Kisame said. Itachi patted him on the back in a sympathetic manner.

"Can we start the movie yet un?" Deidara asked impatiently.

"You were the one that didn't want to see it in the first place!" Kisame snapped, now in a bad mood after the reminder of how he couldn't watch his all time favorite movie.

"But now I'm interested un! I haven't seen a scary movie in forever un!" Deidara said, bouncing in his seat.

"Fine then brat." Sasori said, hitting play on the remote. Deidara's eyes grew wide and his face was in a mask of awe. Everyone shook their heads at his immaturity.

-1 hour later-

Freddy was about to slice and dice someone when there was a loud clang from the kitchen. Deidara screamed and ran behind the couch. He sat there and shivered for a few seconds before he looked up over the back of the couch. Tobi was standing there with a kitchen pot over his head.

"Tobi is sorry!" Tobi said, sitting down behind the couch with Deidara. Tobi quietly ate the ramen he was making and smiled at Deidara.

Deidara glared at Tobi before he nailed him in the head. Deidara forgot about the pot hanging there and the blonde doubled over in pain holding his hand. The loud clamor from force hitting metal resounde3d through the base and Tobi was lying on the floor, unconscious.

"Hope Freddy gets you un." Deidara muttered.

A/N: I know, it was short but I was on a time limit since I'm on a school computer. There may be some mistakes since I didn't have time to read over it. So please review and sorry it wasn't the best chapter ever. Love ya! Until next time… -evil grin-


	5. Finished

A/N: hehe… um… don't kill me? I know that I promised to have this up like… a really long time ago… but better late than never, right? HERE YA GO! And it is Deidara centric… sorry…

The clock struck midnight and Deidara glanced around nervously. He held the butcher knife up at eye level and glared at the silver blade. The pyromaniac laughed lightly before himself before venturing down the long hallway of the Akatsuki base. The bomber stood in front of an orange door before cracking it open and gazing in side. He put one foot in and silently entered.

"SEMPAI!" Tobi screamed from behind him. "Are you here to kill the goblins that are after Tobi?"

"I'm here to kill you un!" Deidara said.

"But that's bad sempai! Leader-sama would be upset with you!"

"DEIDARA!" Pein said from the door. "No killing the other members!"

"I hate you all un. Go burn." Deidara said, walking out of the room.

"Dei? Deidara?" Deidara opened his eyes and saw that Konan was shaking him.

"I was so close un." Deidara muttered.

"To what brat? You were sleeping." Sasori said.

"But Tobi was about to die un!"

"Tobi was being a good boy sempai!" Tobi screeched, hugging Deidara. "Now that you're awake you can come help me get Christmas decorations!"

"Never un! I would rather die!" Deidra said, jumping up off the couch and running to the other side of the room.

"It's a mission Deidara. Go with Tobi." Pein ordered.

"It was because I fell asleep isn't it un?"

"And see what you're wearing." Itachi said, leaving the room. It was probably the smartest move he ever made.

"What the fuck un!?" Deidara screamed. He was wearing a tutu and pink tights. "I hate you all un!"

"Tobi will buy sempai a nice prettiful book for your entertainment!" Tobi said.

"You make it sound like you want me to screw the book un." Deidara said, going into the emo corner.

"If it makes you feel better!" Tobi said, hugging Deidara.

"If you die then I will feel better un."

"Don't be mean! Now let's go!" Tobi said, grabbing Deidara's arm and dragging him outside. Tobi starting to sing songs from The Wizard of Oz and the only thing Deidara could think of was how much a gun would cost so he could kill Tobi before he committed suicide.

"Sing with me Sempai!"

"In your dreams un." Deidara said.

Ending Notes: There we go. It is finished! Crap last chapter, I know. The whole book thing has to do with the guy next to me who had just finished raping a book for his own enjoyment while he was supposed to be doing work… So this kinda leaves it open for a sequel huh? If you want me too, I will try! So please review and remember I love you!

Bye for now!

~Mina


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